20230701 its been a while
it feels like ages since i left the mobile app startup i was interning at to work in corporate. working in an office is COMPLICATED. because you have to deal with humans. many times you see behaviours that give you pause. i feel like a lot of my brain space is unnecessarily taken up by thinking too much of what other people think. if people dont like me, i cant help it. cos inside, i really think i'm just plain ol me. no idea what other people see. its pretty tiring also. humans are tiring, always you dealing with egos. except for my parents. so now my goal is make my mind a nice garden. i realise i have a lot of dark negative thoughts i need to work through. things i absolutely have to do to prevent depression or having a shit brain on any day - take tamoxifen on time - jog daily - do not alcohol - do not sugar - i have cravings for sugar. im attempting to substitute with fruit i dont dare to take vitamin b complex anymore. i heard folate can increase breast cancer risk. but i fe