20231105

-

 you should be more selfish.. when it comes to thinking about your goals and aspirations..


when i struggle with trying to motivate myself..


things that work

imagining being fired from a job

telling myself i deserve it, so i get the self image needed to hold down a job and aspirations



i have a very fuzzy sense of self

i adapt to others

i am lazy

i escapism


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

green tea bitch

-
let me tell you the story of a green tea bitch and a hamsum with cheater potential.  i work closely with greentea in office. greentea has/had a long term boyfriend if more than 5 years (not sure if they still together, greentea always winces when i ask her about mr i-seriously-think-you-were-cuckolded nowadays). but she also crushes on the now ex-tech lead mr suave. suave probably left to avoid suspicion? i remember seeing her and her mr cuckolded boyfriend, she was cosying, rubbing her body against mr cuckold and leaning into him talking, on the mrt on our way back, from one of our get togethers. also knows he buys her hundreds dollar worth gifts on her birthday. (actually not very expensive i guess, she is into expensive gifts). ms prettii and mr suave ever played accidental touch ( hand brushing as they both reached for the mouse, then longing looks). she sent him a sticker of fingers touching on group chat before. anyway suave decided to teach us newbies coding in chinese (cos he s
Read more

song

-
Image
this just came out. his recent songs are getting better, i'm impressed. metaphors and imagery on point. flying, running barefoot, looking back, blackened nails, tears in sleep, warm bright sunlight, dancing alone, flying free like a bird i relate to this because my life is to be honest, so-so in the friends department and non existent in the romance department.  i don't feel like really sad, or regret, or i need to change it. friends are busy and settled down,  some are less able to provide a listening ear (maybe to them it is childish, immature, or being listened to means you have have to reciprocate so maybe not, they have theirs at home already, they are stressed and have no more bandwidth for anything else).  that is the reality of being an adult. maybe the occasional sympathy and warmth from a colleague or friend or stranger. but that doesn't do it for me. i don't need the superficial. and i feel it is so easy to have values not align one day, or per
Read more

20231104

-
i feel like with whats going on recently.. has healed me.. my emotions all stuck in side.. extreme emotions.. and my masking.. i feel it is better for me not to pretend i am not a nerd..
Read more