Posts

20250113

joke that he sometimes appears on my facebook feed. eh wait. i thought he is in camp. shouldnt be his bus pass by my house right. i will never wish him and another girl happiness! im not that graceful. dang OT-ed too late today

20250112

 i feel like my colleague has shifty behavior lol, fucking obvious

20250111

 i miss feeling sad. long walks are good because - you disconnect - you carry loads - greenery even in the rain, i want to be able to walk my anxiety is back because of the two back in my life. wish they can be further away so i can continue to be happy and anxiety free dont think too much is good. dont make the mind too complicated. im already sick of the sugary macarons. fish bowl! i love seeing ponds alas, i feel my mind already has to constantly be empty. the older you are, the more you see, nothing satisfies me anymore, other than simple pleasures i wonder why she mentioned like a broken heart in the end. did they ever flirt with each other or was it a third party? i am super curious.  i dont want to think about my own happiness. he hurt me so many times already until to me hoping for love is just asking for pain. these days the weather very cold i feel very tired. too much sugar, too little exercise.. i dont like cerebral art.

20240110

 learning to idgaf if people dislike me. even important people. reclaim back my self power. and my sense of safety. focus on the task on hand. Cultivating a sense of safety and detachment involves creating internal stability and maintaining emotional distance from external stressors. Here’s how you can develop both: 1. Build Your Inner Sense of Safety Grounding Practices: Breathing Exercises: Deep, slow breaths can calm your nervous system and anchor you in the present moment. Try: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 8 counts. Physical Grounding: Place your feet flat on the ground and focus on the connection to the earth, reminding yourself, “I am safe in this moment.” Self-Reassurance: Speak affirmations to yourself: “I am in control of my responses.” “I can handle whatever comes my way.” Carry a small object (e.g., a smooth stone or piece of jewelry) that reminds you of calmness when touched. Establish Rituals: Daily routines provide pred...

20250107

whew i thought i lost my staff pass and client's token today sia.. turns out it is inside my bag compartment that i never know existed. brain fog is REAL. and there is no feeling one.

20250105

that small woman posted something want to trigger me huh. i wont be triggered. its entirely up to me. wa waking up on mondays tiredddd. i need swimming! i trying to save money actually i buy make up also nothing much change la i dont like to associate with the uncle. he very low energy i start to feel tired with him around because i havent learn to strengthen my own energy soon soon i will not need to take taxi to work. now i from work no need

20250104

people flirting on ig again.. made me feel sad had small urge to counter post with my own life photos.. but dont want ba.. if he liked me, i would not need to jostle for attention.. like a sad beggar my thought is.. i rather focus on myself. dont want to lash out at my loved ones waiting for dan da dan to come out i very hungry sia.. i lazy eat tempura i want to go swimming, singing, eat twg.. go canoeing! learn coding.. watch something naughty.. do i need to swim at night or skipping? ya sia. get free motivation from heartbreak.. can do.. i want to try stepper.. maybe not.. dont waste money.. get rid of my belly.. want to learn systems design for data stuff sia like simulate a server with xxx architecture, how i would go about troubleshooting stuff teach me about tokens teach me about auth when i think about learning coding, all my useless pain gone