happy

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im very happy nowadays

i have a job
i enjoy my netflix, books
i try to learn my javascript

i have money and look more respectable
to cater for my family's debt
i got my parents to look at buying a health plan and refinancing hopefully it lowers the monthly payment

the sad side
although paying for the familys mortgage means i get to inherit the house mostly, i dont really know. i dont feel its right for me to service a debt that is created due to my sibling failed business.

i know i got lucky a little. working at my current job where the people are all normal and not callous. my contract ends in 6 months. i dont know if i will be able to secure my next job and i will be still happy. i hope to do a good enough job and get a good review so i can upgrade to a higher paying job.

i am still not good with other humans because i refuse to put on a happy mask and do emotional labor. i can see it pays off. but i dont. im comfortable.

this job is ok. 5 day week. i do overtime, but its because im inefficient. i just try to clear all my work so no one can say i fall below expectations.

my previous job i had depression? let it get to me. im able to shake off more things as i get older.

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