20250101

i realised how much his ig posts have an impact on my mood. like thinking he doesnt have a partner and single makes me much more happier. i would like my happiness to not depend on that. its like taylor swift's fortnight. very obsessed about him. ooooh. no, no. i want to focus on myself. i miss him. he didnt post already.

i am happy that my enemy's friend did not get together with him but i want 100 percent confirmation that she will never get together with him ever.

the thought that i have to see my enemy again. bummer. wait till i dont have to see her! she makes me whole uncomfortable unfortunately

my brother and father suddenly wear amulet bead i dont like sia. like suck my energy.

i have a weak mind is it.

i went for walk and swim, doesnt make me happier.

pampering myself and seeing his ig post looking very single make me happy.

never mind, never mind, i will focus on leveling up and improving myself ok. so i have money to spend on pampering myself.  luxury makes me happy. feeling beautiful makes me happy.

saving money makes me happy. i saved on cab, i saved on karaoke.

i want to learn investment and earn more money so i can feel better. chase the hedonic treadmill.

also doing well at work being useful makes me happy.

one thing very hard for me is to eat healthy. very impossible.

i will learn make up and coding. i dont like how curly my hair is. the length also not here not there. learn how to do contouring. i want to do eye brow embroidery also. im scared of growing old. i can see the lines on my face. hopefully next time can just do filler. i now wearing contacts.

i do have more insight into what makes me unhappy now.

how should i pamper myself today? twg?

i need more comfortable shoes for walking though. my feet really ache.

lucky i wake up early today sia. if not very waste time do nothing. 

i still feel like i did nothing much.

what i did - exercise, groceries, laundry. yet i feel unfulfilled.

i went to my nearby mall and bought many products from watsons. c beauty brand called judy doll. they have a sister brand called joocyee. i wanted to buy cream blus, contouring, highlighting stuff and stuff to cover my skin tone. i bought i foundation brush to use with my whitish sunblock instead. so i stop looking foolish with a whitish face. i'll also start putting my hard set gel on my hair to pull those curls down. i also want eyelash growth serum man. got something for my dark circles as it is very terrible. there is this thing called banana powder, it works for covering my dark circles. bb cream sucks. foundation cream sucks.  sunplay has this nice tinted sunblock but it is overpriced in watsons so i got mine online. say hi to a prettier me! i dont want the eye shadow and the eye liner for now, makes me look weird. maybe get light or glittery eye liner? it doesnt have to be black. there is a eyeliner stamp too. looks interesting.