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1 more to go.. tmr is my birthday i wanted to finish it by today but these days i have this low level headache. anyway i completed 2 modules today so i'm satisfied. particularly enjoyed the new year countdown. not sure but the matching programme email containing the letter of confirmation of my role  got my name wrong in the email and  my role was changed from software to digital marketing? the letter to sign is generally worded so don't think they have any changes.  the compensation was towards the lower end i am guessing they go by the years of relevant professional experience.  this is quite a stressful experience so far for me. first employer i was matched told me i had to do data entry and accounting role for them. now this one dont know why is my role changed but if its to deal with google analytics i will still be happy.

  3 hrs of video more to go... i lagged today and binged in netflix. feeling both satisfied and dissatisfied. put it off because it involved canvas and animation and i am not familiar with it. cant remember if i bathed yesterday night. i put on my medicated oil so i cant bathe tonight. haze stinks. weather hot. me hot. hope i dont get headache. i need to exercise. and maybe take a day off coding along tutorial.

 i know its not too good to ignore your feelings, but sometimes i just need a break from them imagine watching yourself, like a out of body experience. imagine watching yourself and the expressions you would have on your face as you felt your sad emotions and thought your sad thoughts. you should have felt some sense of empathy (humanness of sadness, another person who was sad would probably have similar expressions) and acquired some distance and space between your emotions.

coding ninja, that its https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0KxTjaCC34&t=67s i feel inspired by this song.. 😤

regarding the programme i got into, i think i might quit it because the programme seems to be too hands off. its a train and place and not a place and train. and the train is for 1 month. definitely not enough to develop tech skills. and the 3rd party provider, well it seems help is distant. if the programme allow host orgs who dont already have tech capabilities, and claim that it is ok to go in without skills and learn during the programme, it seems quite unrealistic. and the one i was approached by explicitly said they were not able to train me but also wanted me to later take on roles for their clients which involved time deadlines. which would mean i would be under extreme stress as my skills were raw. and them not understanding technology makes it worse. dealing with clients and deadlines makes it worse. i need some reassurance i would get ample time since i dont get trained. but to be honest, i can train myself. its just i wanted to see what are the requirements like in real lif...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0xE4G7LfIQ year          mentors      can find mentors to help you month      career      challenging but can still be fulfilling day               relationships      lonely hour          desire      seek change

i came across adobe xd since very long ago. UI/UX designers use it. i suppose its good to know so you can plan your next good looking website. not really sure how this app is supposed to produce really amazing wireframes and prototypes, xguru's adobe xd guide is pretty good https://www.xdguru.com/adobe-xd-guide/assets-panel/ adobe guide to responsive design pretty good https://www.adobe.com/sg/products/xd/learn/get-started.html https://www.adobe.com/sg/products/xd/learn/design/layout/fit-any-screen-size-with-responsive-resize.html watching some udemy with 20 adobe xd project. its highly rated but so far i dont see the selling point https://www.udemy.com/course/adobe-xd-ui-ux-design-with-10-real-world-project-2020-tuto/ mine

i have been following this youtube channel called bloominscence one of her videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhUhBucCK2E same like me, she is reaching 30s (i am 30s), unemployed, living with parents, unmotivated, indecisive,  a little too much navel gazing, generally not moving forward in life, doesn't really get anything serious done (unless she secretly has a job or passive income source). nonetheless i feel this is a channel i really need right now. like her, i have bouts of self denial and i also developed an overly positive outlook, ignore realities. after a while, i developed some kind of blindspot. my hope for her is that she manages to find her life direction and secure an income source. her videos are really interesting, real and introspective though, i don't understand why she has so little views. not so keen about other channels because they are so fake.

i don't really know are there any guidelines for conventions regarding web design issues with communicating my skill sets to potential employers i have been doing a lot of server side coding and just frontend coding but little on web design or considering much about the navigation and the user without a knowledge of user patterns non technical people only care about looks well they said they wanted a UI/UX designer not intuitive i get too caught up in technical explanation of functionality i know UI/UX designer doesn't suit me i hate talking to users and stakeholders. different mental models and knowledge bad at being intuitive inarticulate about their needs communicating and adjusting expectations requires you to think clearly and have some kind of planning skills i am an ISTJ, i like clearly defined roles and processes no one understands what i am talking about technical slow to pick up what they actually want to hear i am better at writing than speaking takes time to process...

this is a react app run on express server app. backend and frontend. tidying up the directories and pre production code server js // const __dirname = path.resolve(); if ((process.env.NODE_ENV = 'production')) {   app.use(express.static(path.join(__dirname, 'my-app/build')));   app.get('/', function (req, res) {     res.sendFile(path.join(__dirname, 'my-app', 'build', 'index.html'));   }); } package json  "heroku-postbuild": "NPM_CONFIG_PRODUCTION=false npm install --prefix "<frontend folder>" && npm run build --prefix "<frontend folder>" procfile web: node src/server.js .gitignore /nodemodules .env //test run your app before deploy .env  NODE_ENV=production //terminal cd <frontend folder> npm run build cd .. cd <backend folder> npm run start //change back to development //deploying to heroku 1. push to git repo 2. install heroku cli 3. run heroku command to create app and...

1. google cloud console, google cloud trial and create test app 2. google cloud sql console, get credentials 3.  installing mysql, create connection in workbench and test queries 4. npm mysql and creating mysql connection and queries for nodejs server 5. resources - nodejs mysql, sql queries you need to activate the google cloud free trial, create a test app go to google cloud console and click the dropdown create new project go to google cloud sql console https://console.cloud.google.com/sql create/choose an app>create instance>choose btwn mysql etc click button to enable engine api  ... set user password, click button to create instance white list your public ip address (google what's my ip address). click save to connect to cloud sql in mysql workbench you need mysql community server  https://dev.mysql.com/downloads/mysql/ credentials you can add user and change password https://cloud.google.com/sql/docs/mysql/admin-tools#workbench after you have installed server...

 here's the completed site  https://t3ys1-3000.sse.codesandbox.io/ my project folder was created on 1/2/2021, i finished today, so it probably took me 45 days. i have to admit i slacked off a lot. its probably has errors and bugs though. hehe. because i have not really done like testing ie clicking through the app other than the ones instructor went through.  didn't go through the heroku deploy steps. instead i uploaded and run the source code in an online sandbox.  if possible, i would like to postman generate documentation, for the git repo read me 3rd party auth, could implement my other code from csb local storage may be unsafe, might want to use sessions or cookies git upload git init create git ignore file, add node modules (both) and env file git add . check files git commit and message set main branch go github and create an empty repo, there are codes for you to copy for the above if use vscode with git, make sure you remove the remote origin or you will get...

also particularly bad at dealing with certain type of people - wilful, passive people. ears closed off. its worse when they open their mouth to demand something.  i just avoid them, by the way i'm not a very good reader of people and situations, thus bad at anticipating the needs of people at that moment. like keeping your eyes open but nothing comes to mind. doing small niceties that people are looking for at that moment is likeability. some call it emotional labor. something that greases the wheels. making people feel comfortable.

86/91. 5 more to go.

about the recent interview about the royals i am aware of the difficulties reported by people and women of color, burden on proof for racism, microaggressions meghan should have made it clear this was about the courtiers and the people who ran the palace and its PR machinery royals could have set a better example for the staff. lack of empathy, covering up of their various moral failings. tabloids. should all these media bullying be illegal? and british tabloids have a toxic relationship with the monarchy that needed to be set right, due to the bad karma and cheating since diana's era, and because of modern society's lack of privacy.  tabloid papers and sections should be outlawed. females tend to be held to great scrutiny and do not handle well toxicity from the media who exactly made the racist comment? since you decided to champion this cause. not being specific means you implicate the whole bunch of people i am glad piers morgan resigned. he was causing hurt and harm when h...

finding your interest i used to think this question about what you wanted to be when you grew up was a stupid question. wouldn't you choose a job that fits all of what society has taught us to chase? money, status, popularity, free time. then when you go out into actual workplace you really feel the limits of yourself and negative mindset working against you. feeling lost, confused, not knowing and just going through the moves. so i realise i couldnt go through that soul crushing. i got depressed, resentful, angry. it wasnt pretty. it was hard for me because i had a negative mindset. it never worked against me so i never thought of correcting it and was comfortable to remain in my comfort zone. i never realised i was so unaware and i was so paranoid and distrustful of all my colleagues. it led to my mental breakdown. was pretty fragile. having a long break and being accustomed to being mediocre has made me more resilient. perfectionism can make you neurotic. i was the child who did...

i received notice i got into a place and train programme. hurrah. didn't think i was going to get in because the interview format was recorded video and i was mumbling away not looking at the camera, it was pretty awkward, didn't know what to talk about. tts been hazy these days. didnt sleep well last night. now i avoid the living room at night because dad said he saw a female long haired lady. might be the ginger tea i had before bed.  having a flu right now. sometimes get those when i dont sleep well. popped a few yin qiao pills from hockhua. nursing cups of mulberry leaf teas. they are supposed to be 'clear liver and lung heat'. sneezing and sniffling but its not that bad. im just a little tired. i did some exercise skipping rope yesterday but i dont think i should do them today. sweating slightly now. 71/91 done with my e-commerce course. if you take into account the testing and tweaking as well as add functionality, i will need more time. i do like 1 section (over ...

 ayo hows yall i have been at passportjs for 2 days. wow. so efficient. (super inefficient T-T) refreshed my credentials for the client ids and secrets made the local and sign up route tidied the controller/routes, config to make the code easier to understand app is here

i don't know if its just me but i get real depressed when i am not being productive. i get depressed and start unconsciously berating myself. its not a voice that speaks in words but in emotions, and that emotion is depression. because i have been unemployed for more than a year, not working is making me guilty even though i code 5 to 7 days a week. but i guess my self esteem will only be satisfied and stop criticising if i crank out code everyday.

oh wow its march already short course after my 7 day weekday full day fully remote zoom  usability course, i got my mojo back the schedule for the course was 9-5, with a 1 hr lunch break, and 5 minute breaks every hour, with a 15 minute tea break i dont like theory so the assessment was tough for me, enjoyed the class activities though.  instructor told me to pursue this field, i think its more a fluke i did well, and need to take into account other team member's good work routine after the course i set alarms for - wake up - AM - lunch - PM - end 'work' - bed time the bedtime alarm as well as shower before bed is working well for me to sleep earlier might need extra alarms for shower time and exercise time might need an hourly break reminder trying to avoid mind wandering and focus on my work i dont really adhere to this alarms but they are just cues for me mojo tip:  you will be less likely to slack off,  and more likely to make full use of the day,  by being...

 angst, anxiety, dread confused about life direction. confused....