20241218

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i needed to poop urgently so i hurried back home. that was a lot of poop. it filled the whole water line of the toilet


how to bleach toilet, just buy bleach and splash around? 


putty to cover sink gap is fun. like art and craft.


ok nice my refund completed, give me my money back!


try phosphotidylserine and lechithin soy milk powder for better memory


that stupid stopped posting after i posted and got likes. why ah. the girl also make some emo comment. why ah. 


aint no drug as heady as romance. i miss it and i dont miss it. anyway he not important to my life.


anyway, enjoying my leave so far. good mood.



i try not to feel aggrieved. i try not to feel resentful. i try to imagine the light blue sky and the lightness and happiness of my heart. free of desires. it seems when you are out of my mindspace only can i be relieved of the shackles of my heart. hatred is something i dont quite understand. 



i cant let go if i think the two of them are together sia. no, go and dieeeee. anyone but the friend of my enemy and this stupid bitch.



i feel like all the good work done by the female managers in managing humans and building relationships has been undone by my male boss.. just. a woman's touch is different. men just cant measure up. and they like to undermine what women bring to the table. women bring relationships and teamwork. men bring.. cliques and powerplay.. hur hur hur



sometimes im glad i dodged the bullet. cos he's a small minded bitch


to him: you never cared for me anyway..


also he is free dopamine. gets me out of bed.


i want freedom but it feels empty for now. because freedom means being glad to be rid of him. if not the opposite my resentment creeps in. need to figure out the hack for real free dopamine supply.




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